I don’t like confrontation. It’s a delicate balance, but it is crucial to find the right approach. It is the skill of knowing which words to use. Words are mighty and they can lift someone up or tear someone down. Those who are skilled in handling confrontation have many approaches and techniques and know when and how to use each one.
Confrontation is not always the right course of action. Not every critic has to be confronted and not every wrong statement needs to be disputed. I have learned this the hard way. In today’s time there are so many people arguing on Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites to prove their point. What I have found out that people don’t want to hear your point of view if it is different than their own point of view. It is their page, and they are expressing their thoughts. They crave for people to like their opinions and become very defensive if it is a view that opposes their own.
Confronting individuals who are in a position of weakness is relatively easy and sometimes cowardly. Confronting those in positions of power over us, through their job, status or wealth takes great courage. There is a huge difference between confrontation and condemnation. Many conflicts could be avoided if we would talk to each other, rather than talking about each other.
Have you been at work and gossiped about someone not doing something right, getting frustrated, but really not working with that person to help them be their best self? This can be done in a very loving way. On the flip side, listen when someone comes to you and don’t be quick to snap back. Listen to what they are saying, take it in and honestly assess their words given to you. They came to you for a reason, and you owe it to yourself and them to own up to your own faults.
I love the Bible – it is God and Jesus’ way of speaking to me every single day. In the book of Joshua, Israel was upset at two and a half tribes (Reubenites, Gadites and half-tribe of Manasseh). They thought the two and a half tribes were doing the wrong thing and that they were disobeying God. Instead of going straight to war they were wise enough to confront them and challenge them verbally. Once they had done that it became clear that their fears were groundless. After the meeting they talked no more about going to war.
Be careful not to jump to hasty adverse conclusions about other people. When confrontation does occur, use kind and loving words. You are not to tear someone down, but to build them up while course correcting them at the same time.
I pray that your confrontations in life are used to build people up rather than tearing them down. I also pray the same for those that may confront you.
If you would like to deep dive into the verses above or read more of the Bible around this topic, please visit BibleGateway. Did you know there are 90+ verses in the Bible that deal with confrontation? One of my favorite versus on confrontation is Leviticus 19: 17-18, “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”
May God bless you, may Jesus fill your heart, and may the Holy Spirit direct your path!
